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  Ford Jokes



Want to laugh at Ford? Here are some Ford jokes, as if the car isn't a big enough joke in itself!!

The Ford AU ute has cup and thermos holders built into the tailgate. So when you push the ute you can have a drink at the same time.

Friends don't let friends drive Fords.

If all the vehicles in New Zealand were 'Built Ford Tough', the shoulders of New Zealand's highways would be a much more crowded place.

Have you driven over a Ford lately?

Have you outdriven a Ford lately?

This is Holden country and on quiet nights you can hear Fords rusting.

I could never keep a Ford under me, I was always under the Ford.

I'd rather push a Holden than drive a Ford.

Ford Escort me to a Holden dealer.

Buy a Ford and you buy the 'best'. Drive a mile and walk the rest.

Sometimes the best jokes are true. On May 12, Ford announced a recall on it's Expeditions and F-series trucks. Faulty lug nuts could cause the tyres to FALL OFF. It just keeps getting better.

SPEED KILLS
Drive a Ford and live forever.

A man pulled up next to a little girl walking home from school and said "If you get in, I'll give you a lollypop." The girl kept walking. Following along slowly, the man said "Come on and get in the car with me and I'll give you two lolly pops." She kept her eyes on the sidewalk and continued on her way. The man said "Get in with me and I'll give you this whole bag of lollypops!" Finally, the girl turned and said "Look daddy, YOU bought the Ford, YOU ride in it!!"

If you're baffled why Ford is actually competing in ATCC, don't be. They have teams of mechanics working around the clock for a week, just so they can run a race.

Ashes to ashes,
Dust to dust,
If is wasn't for Ford
our tools would be rust.

Next time some Ford fanatic claims Ford means "First on race day" remind them that anything could be fast if a team of mechanics worked on it all week so it would last long enough to run a race before needing another weeks work.
Have you ever seen a ford pick-up, they must of been out there for hours. Thanks to T. Pickering.

Flawed Falcon
Thanks to spitfire.


Driving a ford is like the special olympics....even if you win your still a retard
Thanks to S Quiritis


The people who say they would rather push a Ford than drive a Holden usually do.

That's not a leak, my Ford's just marking its territory!

Ford...At least they circled the problem.

Did you know that Ford has a new magnetised bumper?
They needed something to pick up the parts that fell off along the way.

God make shit, Ford gave it wheels
Thanks to Gordon Povey


Did you know that 98% of all Fords ever built are still on the road?
The other 2% made it home!!
Thanks to Ted Church

Sex is good, Sex is golden, Sex is done in the back of a Holden, if you dont like it or if you get bored, be a faggot and fuck in a ford.
Thanks to Leanne Shaw who received it from Shayn Rencher

FPV stands for Fucken Povarse Vehicles
Thanks to John & Helen


Keep out motorways clear, beautiful and user friendly.
So leave your Ford at home.
Thanks to Lynda O'Dwyer

A guy walks into a service station and says to the attendant
"hey have you got a petrol cap for a ford"
and the attendant says "yeah sure sounds like a fair swap"
Thanks to jdc

God created shit and ford made it move
Thanks to Stephen Boyd

Q: How do you double the value of a Ford?
A: Put gas in it.

Q: How is a golf ball different from a Ford?
A: You can drive a golf ball 200 yards.

Q: Why are there footpaths beside streets?
A: So Ford owners have a safe place to walk home.

Q: Why is New Zealand so far in debt?
A: Jenny Shipley gets chauffered in a Ford.

Q: How much wood could a Ford ute haul if a Ford ute could haul wood?
A: As much as the Holden ute towing it.

Q: Why are the new Ford Falcons more aerodynamic?
A: So they will save the Holden petrol when the Holden tows them away.

Q: How come Ford makes tractors and Holden doesn't?
A: Holden can't get one to run that slow!

Q: What does the GT stand for on a Ford?
A: Glued together!

Q: Why did Ford start putting magnetic bumpers on the back of Ford pick-ups? -
A:
So it would catch all the parts that fell off the guys Ford pick-up.
Thanks to T, Pickering for this one.
Q: How long does it take for a ford falcon to drive from Sydney to Melbourne?
A: Depends on how fast the car carrier takes to get there!
Thanks to RD & AV for this one.

Q: What kind of car did Fred Flinstone drive?
A:
A ford of course, and it ain't much different now!
Thanks to RD & AV for this one.


Q: How long can a ford go for with out repairs?
A:
Depends if you can leave the ford dealer.
Thanks to Christian Purkiss for this one.

Q: Why does a ford and a tin can have in common?
A:
They both rust just as far.
Thanks to Rebecca Nelson for this one.

Q:
What does BA stand for?
A:
Bad Automobile.
Thanks to Warped_Youth for this one.

Q: What does a ford and a tampon have in common?
A:
They both come with tow ropes.
Thanks to Stephen Boyd for this one.


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